I know that the amount of solitude that I have allows me to write this blog and my books! Who do you think you are kidding? I think for a lot of us, we have categorical friends… or is it more accurate to say, friends that fulfill different categories of interest?!! Your bond with them is that excitement from playing and studying music. Then, you might also have a completely different friend who is into …. Everyone has challenges. What I find to be frustrating, is that my significant other absolutely loves the character, Raymond Reddington, in the show Blacklist. That character is always full of knowledge and sharing it.
BUT, when I do it, I get disparaged or eye rolls. Something I am slowly working on in this relationship that has plenty of other good to it that I think is worth keeping.
When I was working at my last job, I experienced what you described as well. I would create stuff and problem solve and give to my supervisor and it would end there. I made databases and graphics, and all kinds of stuff that ended up sitting in a folder on my computer, unused. She would get all excited at the idea, but never took any of it anywhere. I finally gave up using my creativity and was bored to death.
So much so, that I would hook up my own laptop and listen to YouTube videos all day at work so my brain had something else to do besides the humdrum of the daily grind since my creativity was not appreciated. At least my mind gets what it wants now and I can create and study and explore at my own leisure. Thank you for sharing these examples, Michelle.
Yes, loneliness is real and painful, but this blog reminds me of ways to make RFM friends and the importance of making an effort to do so thanks for that. Human contact, or furry animal friend, or tree contact, is important. Having those intense periods of concentration to autonomously work away on something of personal interest is truly soul food, and for me, often a more critical factor than having friends who understand those interests and passions. Plus, reading biographies or historical fiction every night while curled up in bed has always made me feel connected to the past and present and realize that whatever my petty worries are, I really have a dream life and therefore nothing to worry enough about to keep me up thinking.
It nice to be able to chat to likeminded people, even if its just online. The suggestion is long-term loneliness can have detrimental health effects. Studies are recognizing that there is a worldwide problem of loneliness in all people. Today we have the most tools to facilitate communication and connection at any point in our history while we are lonelier than ever, coincidence, correlation, or ironic happenstance?
The pool of potential friends is often bounded by imaginary or perceived sexual dynamics. I ended up withdrawing from people because as you suggest, it often seems like a healthier choice to be lonely than to be constantly traumatized.
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What recently happened to a writer resonated with me. A story she wrote for The New Yorker went viral, and while she was happy that her writing was resonating with people, she was overwhelmed by it all, and especially by all the negativity and hate — most of it unfounded — that it attracted to her. She wrote about it in a subsequent article:. Almost everyone we encounter thinks about us.
Bad hair, they think, as they pass us on the street.
Annoying voice. Nice legs. Gummy smile. Stained shirt. I am not trying to justify my own social anxiety and withdrawal, but the fact is that we cannot survive in this world without having at least one or two people not misjudge us so that we can successfully graduate from school, obtain a job, or simply not be assaulted or thrown in jail. That was a great article suggestion. A wonderful illustration how in some situations the paradoxical outcome can show the only thing potentially worse than failure is success.
Which leads back to my curiosity and bafflement about the paradoxes in connection. Where do you see the origin point of the paradox when we are seeking connection and relationship, but self sabotage it through error laden judgments rather than opening to diverse possibility? Is that question directed at me? I do know that I was far more outgoing and much more of an open book when I was younger. I used to take that as an insult until I understood that she meant that I was unafraid to be myself because I was unaware how much that made some people hate me.
Once I understood this, I spent many years going out of my way to try and make sure people were not getting the wrong impression about me. But when you see that your own family and friends are blinded by widespread cultural biases, you realize what an uphill battle that is, and then withdrawal becomes less about licking wounds and self preservation and more about picking your battles.
I just follow my own inner compass regardless, the paradox being that is what made me lonely in the first place. Thank you. I am glad I am not alone. For awhile, I thought I was going crazy and got really depressed. It is a frustrating and I want to scream out and shake people to hopefully shake some sense into them. Thank you again for sharing this and to assure me that I am not crazy. I am interested in the Facebook page of connected people.
Love your book and blogs Paula! Another idea is to start your own book club or silent reading group to have some face to face time with RFMs! I hear you, hksounds. But not everyone would agree with you although many would! I suspect that people use FB for different reasons. I have found FB to be very helpful in spreading the word about my blog and books, for example. But I also understand your concerns. There are certainly problems with FB. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google account. You are commenting using your Twitter account.
You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email. Notify me of new posts via email. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Like this: Like Loading Gail Post, Ph. Meemansa I liked the character of Alex.. Olivia This is seriously one of the most well written books I have ever read on Wattpad Sure, her being instantly liked isn t completely realistic, but that is one of the things I quickly got over I loved this book and all of the characters in it I want her to be with all of the boys tbh.
Lisanne This story made me fall in love with Wattpad again and managed to pull me out of my reading slump Thank goodness.. Mickaella De Paula I sobbed Robin is such too much. Megan Nicholson It was amazing The writer is very talented and there were almost no mistakes and I was so happy with the way it was written The story lune was amazing, but I am a hopeless romantic and was very upset with the ending It was a realistic ending and I did understand why the writer had to decide to do this but I wish it had ended on a lighter note.
Agata It was just so, so great I want to read every other book of this author.
Lonely Hearts () - Rotten Tomatoes
Followed by irrelevance. Followed by excruciating, painful decline. The basic appeal of the Echo, she said, is that it frees your hands. Echo owners can wander around living rooms, kitchens, and offices doing this or that while requesting random bits of information or ordering toilet paper or an Instant Pot, no clicks required.
No need to walk over to the desktop and type a search term into a browser; no need to track down your iPhone and punch in your passcode. Frictionlessness is the goal, anyway. For the moment, considerable friction remains. It really is remarkable how often smart speakers—even Google Home, which often outperforms the Echo in tests conducted by tech websites—flub their lines.
My sister-in-law got her Echo early, in Catrin Morris, a mother of two who lives in Washington, D. She had to fight the urge to whip out her smartphone to answer some tantalizing question, such as: Which came first, the fork, the spoon, or the knife? At least with Alexa, she and her daughters can keep their hands on their silverware while they question its origins.
As Alexa grows in sophistication, it will be that much harder to throw the Echo on the heap of old gadgets to be hauled off on electronics-recycling day. He sums up the biggest obstacle to Alexa achieving that sophistication in a single word: context. Alexa needs to get better at grasping context before she can truly inspire trust. And trust matters. Not just because consumers will give up on her if she bungles one too many requests, but because she is more than a search engine.
She chooses one answer from many. She tells you what she thinks you want to know. T o understand the forces being marshaled to pull us away from screens and push us toward voices, you have to know something about the psychology of the voice. For one thing, voices create intimacy. Many articles have been written about the expressions of depression and suicide threats that manufacturers have been picking up on. I asked tech executives about this, and they said they try to deal with such statements responsibly. There are people who can help you. You could try talking with a friend, or your doctor.
You can also reach out to the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance at for more resources. Why would we turn to computers for solace? Machines give us a way to reveal shameful feelings without feeling shame. I turned to Diana Van Lancker Sidtis, a speech-and-language scholar at NYU, to get a better appreciation for the deep connection between voice and emotion.
In it, she explains that their croaks, unique to each frog, communicated to fellow frogs who and where they were. Fast-forward a few hundred million years, and the human vocal apparatus, with its more complex musculature, produces language, not croaks. But voices convey more than language. Like the frogs, they convey the identifying markers of an individual: gender, size, stress level, and so on.
Our vocal signatures consist of not only our style of stringing words together but also the sonic marinade in which those words steep, a rich medley of tone, rhythm, pitch, resonance, pronunciation, and many other features. The technical term for this collection of traits is prosody. When someone talks to us, we hear the words, the syntax, and the prosody all at once.
The prosody usually passes beneath notice, like a mighty current directing us toward a particular emotional response. Evolution has not prepared me to know. In fact, it may be a boon. Voices can express certain emotional truths better than faces can. Even if we try to suppress our real feelings, anger, boredom, or anxiety will often reveal themselves when we speak. In the beginning was the Word, not the Scroll. Disembodied voices accrue yet more influence from the primal yearning they awaken. Freud understood this long before empirical research demonstrated it.
He could listen all the harder for the nuggets of truth in their ramblings, while they, undistracted by scowls or smiles, slipped into that twilight state in which they could unburden themselves of stifled feelings. T he manufacturers of smart speakers would like to capitalize on these psychosocial effects. In part, this is textbook brand management: These devices must be ambassadors for their makers. But having a personality also helps make a voice relatable.
Tone is tricky. Twenty-first-century Americans no longer feel entirely comfortable with feminine obsequiousness , however. We like our servility to come in less servile flavors. The voice should be friendly but not too friendly. It should possess just the right dose of sass. She beamed in on Google Hangouts and offered what struck me as the No.
If you propose marriage to Alexa—and Amazon says 1 million people did so in —she gently declines for similar reasons. Giangola is a garrulous man with wavy hair and more than a touch of mad scientist about him. His job is making the Assistant sound normal. For example, Giangola told me, people tend to furnish new information at the end of a sentence, rather than at the beginning or middle. Say someone wants to book a flight for June Typing furiously on his computer, he pulled up a test recording to illustrate his point.
Her point—30 days—comes at the end of the line. And she throws in an actually , which gently sets up the correction to come. Bots also need a good vibe. When Giangola was training the actress whose voice was recorded for Google Assistant, he gave her a backstory to help her produce the exact degree of upbeat geekiness he wanted. The backstory is charmingly specific: She comes from Colorado, a state in a region that lacks a distinctive accent.
There you go.
4840.ru/components/handy/fuv-telefon-kontor.php But vocal realism can be taken further than people are accustomed to, and that can cause trouble—at least for now. In May, at its annual developer conference, Google unveiled Duplex, which uses cutting-edge speech-synthesis technology. To demonstrate its achievement, the company played recordings of Duplex calling up unsuspecting human beings. Using a female voice, it booked an appointment at a hair salon; using a male voice, it asked about availabilities at a restaurant. Duplex speaks with remarkably realistic disfluencies— um s and mm-hmm s—and pauses, and neither human receptionist realized that she was talking to an artificial agent.
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One of its voices, the female one, spoke with end-of-sentence upticks, also audible in the voice of the young female receptionist who took that call. Many commentators thought Google had made a mistake with its gung ho presentation. Duplex not only violated the dictum that AI should never pretend to be a person; it also appeared to violate our trust.
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Duplex was a fake-out, and an alarmingly effective one. Afterward, Google clarified that Duplex would always identify itself to callers. But even if Google keeps its word, equally deceptive voice technologies are already being developed. Their creators may not be as honorable. The line between artificial voices and real ones is well on its way to disappearing. T he most relatable interlocutor, of course, is the one that can understand the emotions conveyed by your voice, and respond accordingly—in a voice capable of approximating emotional subtlety. Emotion detection—in faces, bodies, and voices—was pioneered about 20 years ago by an MIT engineering professor named Rosalind Picard, who gave the field its academic name: affective computing.